Big Dumb Dance

I hope everyone had a better Thanksgiving than I did. To recover from you family holiday trauma here is some big dumb 90s dance music. Because we all need more of that.

Apollo 440
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (Salt Tank's Rip Tide Remix)
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (Frog Junkies Funk Junkie Remix)
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (The E-Z Drum & Bass Orchestra Remix)
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (Mondo Azul Remix)
So grabbing these mixes off of a 12 inch single bring my knowledge of Apollo 440 to a whopping three songs. There is of course their smash hit "Stop The Rock" but I also was aware of them back in "the day" (the day being the late 90s) due to their strange remix of the theme to Lost In Space, which I think was used in the 1998 film version of the TV show. Spoiler Warning: That movie is one of the worst sci-fi flicks of all time.

I remember seeing that piece of trash in the theater. Ugh. I also remember that it opened huge, and was the film the finally dethrone Titanic from its reign of terror at number one at the box office. A few weeks before this crapular cinematic abortion forced upon an unknowing movie public that a much better sci-fi film, the amazing Dark City, was released to an overwhelming thud. The fact that Dark City, an amazing, breathtaking one-of-a-kind piece of film making bombed while Lost in fucking Space did bang-up business was one of my first indicators that there is no justice in the entertainment world, especially when it comes to awesome sci-fi.

Anyways, this single is actually from the soundtrack to a video game called Rapid Racer (or Turbo Prop Racing in the states). I never played that one, I was probably too busy recovering from seeing Lost In Space in the theater on opening weekend. How the hell did a kind of well-known electronic act get involved with what looked to be a standard boat racing game? Man the 90s were fucked up.

War
Galaxy 2000 (Main Mix)
Galaxy 2000 (Dub Mix)
Want further proof of the 90s ridiculousness? Okay, how about the fact that house producers Plump DJs remixed 70s funk band War's "Galaxy" and renamed it "Galaxy 2000"? That's even more random than when The Doobie Brothers' "Listen To The Music" was remixed for dance clubs in the mid-90s...okay maybe not but it's still odd. These remixes are good though.

Jon The Dentist
Shindo (Jon The Dentist's Epic Mix)
Shindo (Dexterous Remix)
Shindo (DJ Misjah Mix)
Now were getting from weird to just downright stupid. Okay, that's harsh. "Shindo" is actually a pretty amazing trance track and it still holds up some 10 plus years later as an obvious precursor to hardstyle house music. In fact, Jon the Dentist is supposedly hailed (by whom?) as an innovator of the hardstyle house sound. I can see it though, because if "Shindo" is any indication he was making fast-paced and incredibly awesome dance tracks that were impossible to dance to due to their insane BPM long before that whole thing took off as a movement. I don't know how you kids dance to that stuff. It makes my feet want to fall off. What is stupid however is the name Jon The Dentist. Because when I'm listening to Hi-NRG house I really want to be reminded of my sore gums.

Hypertrophy
Beautiful Day (Juniorverse Remix)
Beautiful Day (Original Mix)
Beautiful Day (Tank Remix)
Just Come Back To Me (Kosmonova Remix)
Hypertrophy is the technical term for "getting buff." It's also apparently the name of a bunch of German producers who make mediocre house music if this song is any indication. "Beautiful Day" isn't awful, but it isn't great either, and the dude's vocals get REALLY annoying after a while. "Just Come Back To Me" is generic acid house to the 10th degree. I listen to it and imagine that it was cut from the soundtrack of Hackers.

Funking up your Thanksgiving

This is the only post for the week, as I am heading to the wastelands of northwest Ohio to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Ever been to Toledo? It's kind of like Fallout 3, but with more mutants and worse radio stations. I will be surviving the trip by alternating between Slayer's new album, the debut from Them Crooked Vultures and Harpo Marx's classical harp record Harpo Marx in High Fidelity.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with delicious turkey and minimal family dysfunction. Unless you're reading this in a country other than the US, then have a good Thursday.

Grace Jones
I'm Not Perfect (But I'm Perfect For You) (The Perfectly Extended remix)
If you want hours of entertainment just go a Google image search for Grace Jones (really not work safe). I remember when she was banned from Disney World for flashing her chest at a crowd. Disney said that was inappropriate, I say it's Grace fucking Jones, they're lucky she didn't grab her staff and fight an orc to the death (go see Conan the Destroyer kids...on second thought - don't).

Side note: Grace Jones is still recording music, still kicking ass and she's apparently still batfuck insane. Thank god.

Pete Shelley
Waiting for Love (12'' Remix)
The drums in the beginning of this are a little funky for a second, but it's not a skip - I think it's a mistake that's on the actual record. Aside from that this is an excellent track, although I'm told that the album it's from , 1986's Heaven And the Sea, is one of his weaker efforts. It's definitely not as amazing (or gay) as "Homosapien" and that's a shame. If Adam Lambert really wants to gay it up the dude should cover that tune.

George Clinton
If Anybody Gets Funked Up (It's Gonna Be You) (Colin Wolfe Mix)
Fact: George Clinton is god. I got nothing else to say about him. This is from a 12'' single. It had other mixes, but they were all torn and scratched to shit, sorry.

Erasure
Supernature (Daniel Miller/Phil Legg Mix)
Supernature (Mark Saunders Mix)
You Surround Me (Gareth Jones Mix)
I don't know how I didn't get around to posting these tracks sooner, I've had this single sitting by my computer for about a year now. I'd see it in my pile and think "oh yeah, I should listen to that." Finally put it on today and I'm a big fat idiot for not doing that sooner. "Supernature" kicks ASS - totally fabulous in every sense of the word. The first mix is the best, but the second is quite good as well. "You Surround Me" is pretty awesome too. These are all from a 12'' inch single.

Cross-dressing, cross-samples and, um, GusGus.

Meh! Meh I say!

Dead Or Alive
You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) (Extended Mix)
Brand New Lover (Bubble Mix)
Did you know Jessica Simpson tried to cover You Spin Me Round? She failed because she's a no-talent piece of trash who should fall off the face of the Earth. Seriously. How many great songs does that vapid talentless nimrod need to butcher? She fucked up that song, Robbie Williams epic power ballad "Angels," "Take My Breath Away" and "These Boots Are Made For Walking." She even over-sampled John Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane" for her first album. It's not bad enough that she has to release "original" pieces of shit that the average retarded teenybopper wouldn't be caught dead listening to, but she has to go a ruin good songs? I think it's funny that she's credited as a songwriter on most of her releases, like that no-talent piece of trash can put two notes together, the idiot can barely put two fucking words together. I hate that people are so critical of her weight, when her personality, stupidity and lack of talent are all much better reasons to tear her to shreds.

How was that for a random rant? These tracks are from a 12'' single.

Big Audio Dynamite II
Rush (12'' Mix)
No rant here. "Rush" kicks ass. Not only that, but I can use this space to promote the new album by Carbon/Silicon, which is Mick Jones' latest band (also featuring Tony James from Sigue Sigue Sputnik.) Carbon Bubble is currently free to download at Carbon/Silicon's website. Go get it. It's excellent. And if even if you don't like it, who the fuck cares? It's free!

GusGus
Polyesterday (Shot In The Leg Remix)
Hands down one of the best song titles of all time. Good track too. I know little about GusGus so I'll just shut up now. This is from a white label single I got last week.

Emerge from Something

Wow! Two posts in two days! Check out my style! Tonight is nothing buy amazing awesome spectacular music. I'd like to say that's always the case here, but we all know that's not true - I did once put up a cover of "Tutti Frutti" by Sting after all.

Mint Royale
Shake Me
Shake Me (The Light Remix)
Okay, am I crazy or is this song sampling George Harrison's "What Is Love"? Listen for it, it comes in around 2:20, right after the female voice. It sounds like the beginning of the chorus to "What Is Love" is being sampled for like half a second or something, anyone agree with me? "Shake Me" is on the original version of Mint Royale's debut album On the Ropes, but it was taken off of the American version. Regardless, neither of these appear to be the regular version and both were taken from a 12'' single.

Felix Da Housecat
What Does It Feel Like? (Röyksopp Return The Sun Remix)
Control Freaq (No Ears Re-Edit)
As a whole I think Felix is a bit uneven, however I will say that Devin Dazzle & the Neon Fever is probably one of my favorite albums of the decade. Not a weak track on that record, and its great music to work out to. The original versions of these tracks were on his first album, Kitten and Thee Glitz, and while that record had "Silver Screen Shower Scene" it was more than a little messy. These tracks kicked ass though, and the remixes do also. Side note: Röyksopp is amazing, and their new album is without question the best dance record of the year. Go buy it.

Fischerspooner
Emerge (The Hacker Remix)
Emerge (Moguai Mix)
Emerge (Selway's Memory Boy Superstar Mix)
Once again, I don't understand this song. It it supposed to make sense? I don't think so. I sure as hell hope not. I previously put up a few mixes of this track, scored a few more from another promo 12'' I picked up.

Where My Head Is

I'm going to try and force myself to be productive with the blogging this week and I'm going to commit right now to two additional blog posts this week. I'd like to say that I haven't been posting as much because I've been extra busy with work or, y'know - a life, but I'll just be honest and blame Borderlands. That game is like crack with shotguns that shoot fire and lightening.

Basement Jaxx
Where's Your Head At? (Extended Mix)
Where's Your Head At? (Stanton Warriors Remix)
Where's Your Head At? (Sounds of Da Future Remix)
Where's Your Head At? (Jaxx Nite Dub)
I didn't realize until a bout a year ago that this amazing track is based off samples from two - count 'em two - Gary Numan tracks. One Gary Numan song is amazing, and two put together is even more amazing. Someone should make a track samples 80 Numan tunes at once - based on my theory of exponential Numan quality that would be the best song of all time. These tracks actually are available on iTunes (well, all expect the extended mix anyways) but I don't care. This track kicks ass and I feel like sharing these remixes. To quote a reviewer of the single on iTunes, "if you don't like this song, there's something wrong with you."

Massive Attack
Safe From Harm (12'' Mix)
Safe From Harm (7'' Instrumental)
Safe From Harm (Just a Dub Mix)
Safe From Harm (Perfecto Mix)
Ooooh....pretty. I think Massive Attack's Blue Lines is definitive proof that sometimes someone can actually make a perfect song. There are TWO perfect songs on Blue Lines (this track and, of course, "Unfinished Sympathy"). What's more amazing than that is that there is also a perfect song on Massive Attack's sophomore album Protection ("Karmacoma") and three perfect tracks on their third album Mezzanine ("Angel" "Teardrops," and "Inertia Creeps"). Sometimes I listen to Mezzanine and I have a hard time doing anything else because that music is just so fucking great that I just want to close my eyes and just take it all in. Okay, that sounds kind of gross, but I wasn't going for the double entendre...okay maybe I was. Anyways, these remixes are from a 12'' single. More awesome electronic music later this week.

Liv Tyler should be Aerosmith's new lead singer.

I'd fucking GO to that show.

I complain a lot. It's kind of my thing. That's how I roll. I especially complain when musicians and bands I like do shit I can't stand. LIke when Wolfmother decided to be twats and release 80 billion versions of Cosmic Egg, or when Billy Corgan...does anything. However, I'm actually going to talk nice about a band I like, because they did something awesome.

The Foo Fighters' released a greatest hits collection this month. Actually, they had no real say in the decision, their label decided to do it against the wishes of Dave Grohl. Like every greatest hits it has a few new songs tacked on to entice fans who own everything to shell out the extra bucks for the new songs. That's always annoying, and what's more annoying is that usually when there's a greatest hits on iTunes you can't just buy the new tracks, you have to buy the whole album.

Well that's not the case this time, probably because Dave was against the compilation in the first place. If you just want the new tracks, you can have them, not only that, there's an entire EP that is JUST the new tracks, making it easy and cost effective to get them. That EP also includes their cover of Wings' "Band On The Run" which was never released in America. It's nice to see a band reward their devoted fans instead of punishing them for a change. I doubt you'll ever see fucking U2 do that shit (still bitter over not being able to legally just buy "The Saints Are Coming").

Man, that was a lot of nice for me...I don't know what to say next. Oh yeah, I remember. To the person that spammed my comments with repeated requests for a Blondie song - piss off.

Ah, I feel better now.

Deborah Harry
I Can See Clearly (The Club Mix)
I Can See Clearly (N.Y.C. Dub)
I Can See Clearly (Blonde Rave)
I Can See Clearly (Dub-a-mental)
I Can See Clearly (Boriqua Tribal Mix)
I think I'm going to have to cave and finally buy a Deborah Harry solo record. Any recommendations? I'm avoiding Koo Koo, I've heard that album is as bad as the cover is good. These remixes (which are all actually really fucking good) are from a 12''.

Talking Heads
Slippery People
Making Flippy Floppy
Slippery flippity floppity slippy flippy flop. Yeah...that's all I got. Actually, strike that, I got more. What the fuck is "Making Flippy Floppy" about? Is it about screwing? "Flippy Floppy" is the best/worst euphamism for boning ever - and I'm totally gonna start using it. These remixes are from a 12'' single. They are by John "Bellybean" Benitez, and if you know who that is then that means something to you.

Swine Poo. Oh, and some TMBG and stuff.

It's been nearly four weeks since I first got sick with the flu, and I'm still feeling the after effects of it. I'm going to go ahead and call it - I had the swine flu. Fucking pigs. Meh.

Random music time!

A-Ha
I've Been Losing You (Extended Mix)
A-Ha is breaking up. I know this is shocking news to everyone in America who assumed they vanished into a black and white comic sometime around 1986. However, they've been quite big in Europe since 1984, and I'm assuming their impending break-up is pretty big news in Norway, where I assume they are blonde synth-pop gods. I'm not a huge fan of A-ha, but I do have their greatest hits compilation and I do have to say that I do think that over their course of their 20-plus year career they no doubt showed signs of fucking genius. Anyone who says they don't like "Take On Me" is a damned liar, and "The Sun Always Shines On T.V." just might be one of the most beautiful songs of the 80s. "I've Been Losing You" isn't as good as that classic, but it does have a pretty awesome drum intro.

They Might Be Giants
S-E-X-X-Y (Tee's Freeze Mix)
S-E-X-X-Y (Tee's In House Dub)
S-E-X-X-Y (The Warren Rigg Microwave Mix)
I've seen nerd gods TMBG so many times I've actually lost count, I think it's six or seven. Usually I'm better at keeping track of such things, but nearly every time I've seen them it's been at Mr. Smalls in Pittsburgh, so all thsoe shows kind of morph together into one AMAZING concert. The first time I saw TMBG was in 1996, when they were touring in support for Factory Showroom, the album that features the original version of "S-E-X-X-Y." I was just getting into them at the time and really wanted to see them. I wanted to see them so bad I went with my mom to see Hootie And The Blowfish because TMBG was opening for them. That's some fucking dedication right there. I'm hardcore like that. These remixes are from a 12'' single. Also, apparently the person who owned this 12'' before me treated it like sandpaper, so there are a few pops and clicks. Sorry about that.

P.M. Dawn
I'd Die Without You (Extended Jeep Mix)
I'd Die Without You (Remix Dub)
I'd Die Without You (Extended Remix Radio Edit)
Hippie Hip Hop! I'm tired now and out of things to say. This song is so mellow it might kill you, be careful.